Ok here is the rest of what happened. If I can remeber because it has been so long and I am so bad about posting but if don't do it soon it will never get done.
So after his birth I was in the hospital 4 days because I had a C-section and I spent as much time in the NICU as I could. Dan tried to put restrictions on me because he wanted to make sure that I was healing and everything too. I did my best to listen but anyone who knows me knows that it is hard to keep me away from my kids. After 24 hours of being on oxygen he was taken off and I was able to hold him. I was a bit scared because he was so small and had all those wires hooked up to him, but it was the most wonderful feeling to hold him. Up until then it was very surreal that I had had himbecause he was delieved by C-section and then taken immediately to the NICU. The nurses where so wonderful and did the best that they could to explain to me what was going on with him and kind of what to expect. They only wanted him held for about 5 minutes so that he could get as much deep sleep as possible so that he could grow lots. I held him every chance I could. I was able to do skin to skin holding with him which was an amazing experience itself. When I wasn't able to hold him I would sit next to him and hold is hand. You could not rub his back or anything because it was too much stimulation for a premie which was really hard because that is something that comes natural to me. There were so many different rules with him being a premie and must of them went against my natural instinsts.
Dan had to leave once I was released from the hospital. He had to go back to work considering that he did not have any paid time off from work and he had to go take care of the kids at home. I was released Saturday and we were to meet Dan's dad in Price on Mother's Day so that I would be left with a car to get to and from the hospital. I was blessed to have one of Dan's old roomates offer for me to stay with him and his family while Carlyle was in the hospital. So Saturday night Dan tried to keep me busy so I would not go insane worrying about my baby and so he took me on the date we were supposed to go on before I got admitted. It was so hard to leave the hospital knowing that Carlyle had to stay. I truly felt like I was leaving a piece of me behind. We stayed in the hospital housing across the street from the hospital and then got up in the morning and went and visited him before leaving for Price. I was feeling a little torn during the drive. It was Mother's Day and I had to leave my baby in the hospital. Dan's dad was bring Mahala and Kohl with him to meet us but he did not have enough room for all of them so Aunika and Bowden stayed with Grandma because they knew how much the others missed me and needed to see me. (They had never really been left before especially Kohlie and definitely not for 10 days and we did not know when I would beable to see them again) It was great to see them. They came running up and gave me an huge hug and kiss and then kissed my belly and said Hi to the baby. I had to laugh at that and then explain to them that he was not in my belly anymore but he was in the hospital and the nurses where taking super good care of him. We had emailed pictures and the kids each had their own and Kohl would not let anyone touch his picture but he still did not quite understand what the picture ment. He loved his brother SO MUCH it was not even funny. He would stick toys under my shirt so that the baby would have something to play with. And so for him he did not understand if he was not in Mom's belly then where was he. We had brought pictures and foot prints of him for them to have and to hold and take back to Aunika and Bowden.
Our little stop at he Walmart in Price was short but we both had long drives to head back. So we said our good bye and then headed our separate ways. Now really feeling like I was missing some pieces of me. I made it about 3 secs in the car before I began to cry. But I needed to get back to Carlyle. So I wiped the tears and kept on driving. I made it about 30 minutes into my 3 hour dirve and was hit with a sleeply bug like none other. I was so exhausted that I had to pull over on the side of the road in Price Canyon and rest my eyes. After a 15 min rest I had to go on. I made it back to the hospital safe and sound and then settled in right next to my baby's bed to watch him breath. What a beautiful site.
To be continued...
1 comment:
Hi Janaea, you went through so much.
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